I Can Breathe Again

The polar vortex of last week is history, the snow is melting, football is over, the birds are building nests on the porch, and I finally feel like I can relax a little bit.

The cold last week really messed up my car again. It wouldn't start, AAA wouldn't come out to jump it, and the electronics were so messed up that my temperature display on the radio was either missing, or stuck at 8 degrees. Since the weather has been warmer for a few days, the car is back to being normal and I was able to pass my emissions test today and get my license plate renewed. I'm being extra careful with the car since the accident and hopefully, except for an oil change, the car has had it's adventures for 2019.

I'm also set for Captain's Class. The class starts in 2 weeks and I'm nervous and excited and ready to work extra hard for this. Thanks again for everyone who helped me out and who continue to believe in me. I'm doing this for all of us. It's also time to get ready for the water taxi season which should be starting soon. I need some new khaki pants, some new undergarments, and maybe some new footwear.

Wednesday it's supposed to be cold and icy so I may just battle my taxes that day. Like I said, I'm being extra careful with the car so any bad, iffy weather means I will probably not drive for Lyft. It's a catch-22 since that's when you can make more money, but I'm not taking any chances.

Just like the groundhog predicting an early Spring, I am ready for the change out of Winter and on to new things.

How I U-Turned My Way Into Captain's Class

First of all I want to apologize for bitching and complaining for most of the month of January. Those of you who have been reading, or who follow me on Facebook you know that I've been something of a "downer." I have 'Sadness' from the movie "Inside Out" on my car keychain.

It's kind of funny because it's me, but then again it's not because I've been personifying her for the past couple of weeks and that's not something anyone likes...especially me. So many people are going through things of their own, that I have no right to bitch about the little things. Not all molehills are mountains.

Secondly I want to thank each and every person who reads this, who comments on my Facebook posts, who message me, who text me, who email me, and who most of all...love me. The tears I cried today are tears of happiness. Tears of relief. Tears of realization that I am loved, in different ways, by so many people. So again, thank you for the positive comments, the suggestions, the recommendations, the donations, the friendship, and the caring.

Thirdly, I am going to be in the Spring Captain's Class. When I had my accident on the 13th, after just having my car at the mechanic for some expensive repair work, I was crushed. When Lyft said I was responsible for the $2500 deductible, I knew that this was the end of my class. That there was no way I could pay for the car repairs AND class, no matter how much I drove once and IF I got the car back. But thanks to Eric's Mom, Linda who believes in me and who loves me like I daughter, I got my car back and had gas money to start driving again for Lyft. Then I heard from my insurance company who said that they would actually pay the difference between the repairs and my deductible which was only $500. I asked Linda if she wanted the check from the insurance company and she said "no...you're family, you use that for your class." Then today, I got an email from my aunt. Apparently my brother told her that I was in an accident and was having issues paying for captain's class. She called me silly and that she was there to help if I needed it, that all I had to do was ask. She is also pitching in so I can achieve my dream. So it turns out that accident was actually the best thing that could have happened to me, instead of the worst. I am looking forward to February 19th and taking my friends on this journey with me. Let's replace Sadness with something else.

Sometimes I Wish I Could Just Stand in the Shower All Day

Haven't blogged in a few days, but I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd start putting down some thoughts in the wee hours of the morning. And yes, sometimes the warm/hot water of the shower feels so good, it would be nice to stand there, without pruning or running out of warm/hot water, all day. Some days it's like a warm hug, washing the troubles away.

It's been an emotional few days, basically waiting to find out when I'd get my car back (still haven't yet), trying to sell some more stuff, and trying to juggle the bills I have to pay while I'm not making any money with my car. Once I get the car back, I have to have it inspected so Lyft will let me drive again. I also have to get my license plate renewed by the end of the month. So on top of the deductible, there's a couple of other costs to add in order to get driving again, while not driving. It's always something.

We had a bit of a snow storm and I went out and got my physical exercise by shoveling. Living on a corner lot is a blessing and a curse. More ground to shovel, but less neighbors. I am in better shape than I was last winter when I shoveled so this time it wasn't too bad. The snow was also light and fluffy so it was easier to shovel. An old shoulder injury from the boats kind of reared its ugly head and I was sore for a couple of days but nothing too serious. It's raining right now, we had ice earlier and snow is expected later and then it's gonna get really cold. Winter in Chicago has finally arrived.

I did do a little bit of baking. Made a birthday cake for Eric, yellow cake with Hershey chocolate frosting. He enjoyed it and I do like the smell of baked goods in the apartment.

I did walk a couple of miles yesterday too. Had to take the snow globe I sold to the post office to ship it out. It was during the freezing rain, but still early enough so that it wasn't too dangerous. Also felt good to get outside and move a bit.

Haven't read much except for things on Facebook and Twitter. I now cannot look at my phone or my computer without wearing my glasses, and when I do, my eyes start to water and my vision gets blurry. Sometimes getting older is not glamorous at all. Technology can also hinder as well as help.

I watched the football playoffs on Sunday. The teams I wanted to win ended up losing so I'm not sure I'm going to watch the Super Bowl. Football is my favorite sport and the Super Bowl this year ends up being on my Dad's birthday so part of me feels I should watch it. It's going to be a long off-season. Maybe I'll just watch for the commercials and not really pay attention to the game. Sometimes it's easier when you don't have a team to root for and don't really care about the outcome.

That's about it. I'm still plugging along, working on what I can and anxiously waiting for the day when I can sit in my car for hours with strangers again.

Downtime

I dropped my car off at the body shop yesterday and they said I should have it back in a week, depending on how long it takes to get the new doors. They're actually going to replace the entire driver's side of the car. I've talked with the insurance companies and I should be okay. Then once it's back, I just have to get it inspected again before Lyft lets me drive again.

So now I'm back to going through things across the hall and trying to sell stuff on different sites. I did confirm that I wanted to take the Captain's class starting in February so I'm gonna be working hard to make that happen.

I started another book last night, "The Last of the Stanfields". I only read one chapter but it wasn't too bad. I would have read more, but I was tired. I am tired of going through the emotional ups and downs, but that's part of life.

I was able to stop at the grocery store yesterday and pick up some things. I'll have to go out again tomorrow and pick up some more things, but I'm getting my first unemployment check so that should help. This weekend I hope to bake which always makes me feel better.

So lots of nothing going on, yet lots of everything going on.

What a Week It's Been!

I am glad this week is over and that basically, the holidays are over and things will get back to being somewhat normal. I get the car back from the mechanic tomorrow and will be able to drive for Lyft and make some money. I also get to certify my Unemployment claim on Tuesday so I should be getting a small, but helpful check from the state too. I also now have a positive bank account. All good things and although it took awhile, I am now ready to start the year. I am in a better place than I have been all week and it's nice to actually be able to breathe and relax just a bit.

I am sorry that the Bears lost, and I did probably post a "not nice" thing about Cody Parkey on Facebook, but that was in the heat of the moment. I do understand that it's a game and as a lifelong Chicago sports fan, I should be used to the ups and downs of our teams. The Bears had better season than anyone expected and it looks like they'll have a good team for a bit. Also, now I can enjoy the Super Bowl for the ads because I won't have a real interest in whichever two teams are playing in it this year.

I do have a plan for selling some things to help my financial situation as well too. One of the positive things about having as many interests as I do, means I have several different things to sell. Things that should appeal to all different kinds of people. I have some leather Harley-Davidson motorcycle jackets. I have a bridle and a tack trunk and other "horsey" things for equestrian types. I have some antique furniture. I also have a set of original American Girl dolls, and some of their accessories AND all of their Christmas outfits, and even a Christmas Tree (I believe). They've been sitting across the hall for years and I haven't looked at them or used them or worn them, so I'm hoping that they can bring joy to others.

I read a lot last night so I should also be finished with my first book of the year by tomorrow night or Tuesday.

So as it's been said before ONWARD & UPWARD!

Starting Slowly

I have to say that today was a struggle. New Year's Day brings up memories of watching the Rose Parade and filling out a new calendar with my mom, adding all my friends/relatives birthdays, anniversaries, etc. It was always fun looking at the year to come and using new markers and making little cartoons/pictures for certain dates/events. Yesterday I watched the Rose Parade on my own and I haven't had a wall calendar for years now. A lot of the football games have been moved to cable so I didn't really watch anything.  I went to bed early and had bad dreams most of the night. Woke up to an icy rain and fell back asleep on the couch while watching the morning news. I did turn off the TV and read for a bit, played some games on my phone, and attempted to make an appointment with the mechanic to fix my car, but he's backed up from the holidays so I probably can't get the car in until the weekend.

I did do some cleaning, and helped Eric's mom print out some forms on her printer. I made an okay dinner and plan on getting a good night's sleep.

I understand that some days are going to be harder than others and that we're only 2 days into this new year so I can't get everything done immediately.

At least I blogged!

Yet Another Loss--Oh Well

The repo men came in the cold, dark night and took Alain out of the driveway and towed him off somewhere. I was asleep and didn't realize he was gone until I got a phone call this morning from Eric's Mom asking if I was okay. "Yes, why wouldn't I be?" "Your car is gone" she said. I went outside and looked over the porch and sure enough, just a tire mark in the mud where Alain used to sit. "Well, shit." I got off the phone with her and on the phone with the police. They told me that the car had been repossessed.

I knew this was a possibility, but didn't know it would happen without any warning or any written notice. I moved back to Chicago in November and have been looking constantly for a job, and despite a couple of interviews, have not gotten one yet, so it was hard to keep up with the car payments. I would ignore the calls from the creditor or when I tried to call them, would be put on hold for over 35 minutes. That's the average time for each time I attempted to call them back.

I will admit that I shed some tears. Quite a few tears, to be honest, but they are all gone now. In my first post of 2017 I mentioned that this was the year of moving forward...no looking back. Yes, this is a setback. Not only to my ego, but also my lifestyle, not to mention my credit report. Yet, I am no longer upset about this and here are the reasons why.

First of all, I never really liked this car. Sure, it was newer than my Subaru and had Sirius/XM radio and a backup camera, but I was bullied into buying it. I told the sales person and the finance guy I couldn't afford the payments. Eric told the sales person and the finance guy I couldn't afford the payments. When the dealership said they could make it work, I reluctantly agreed, telling them the entire time that I would be perfectly happy with an older, smaller, CHEAPER car. When they brought him out and there was a big scratch on the bumper and I mentioned it. "Oh yeah", they said "they can't buff that out, but you already signed the paperwork. Too bad." When I gave them a HORRIBLE review on Yelp about the entire sales process they called and pleaded and reduced my payments but they were still more than I was comfortable with. This car also made a horrible noise when the wind was coming out of the North or West. It was a high-pitched roaring, coming from the side view mirrors. It also had a weird spot on the windshield, right in my line of sight at night. Alain did get good gas mileage and he did get me and the kitties back to Chicago, so he did his job. Also, I wouldn't have lasted too long in Los Angeles without a car. I wish him luck at the auction in which he will inevitably be sold.

Second, I live in a city with EXCELLENT public transportation. When I was without a car in California, I had to leave for work in the dark hours of the morning just to get there on time. I had to walk far distances to get to stops convenient to my location. Now, I can walk less than a block and get on a bus, which will take me into the city, or which can take me to a train, or another bus. Or I can walk a mile and get on a different train that takes me to the city, or to the suburbs. I can also get on a bus for a short distance and rent a bike (when the weather is warmer). That bike can take me all over the city and I can drop it off at several locations. All of this will help with my fitness goals for the year.

Third, it's cheaper. I don't have to make the car payments anymore. I don't have to pay insurance anymore. I don't have to buy gas anymore. I don't have to buy a city sticker or a license plate sticker. I don't have to pay the Sirius/XM subscription anymore. I don't have to pay for car washes, or washer fluid.

Finally, I shouldn't be upset. I couldn't and didn't make the payments so this is the consequence. I am luckier than a lot of people. I have a roof over my head. I have food in my refrigerator and pantry. I have clothes on my back. I have heat, and running water, and kitties that wake me up at all hours of the night to be fed, or to be loved. I have my health. I have friends and family that love me.  All things considered, I've been through worse, I've lost more.

So I don't have a car anymore. So what.

Too Much Time in The Car

That's what I did today. Spent too much time in my car. I got up this morning and turned on the news to see what the weather and traffic was going to be like today. The weather was warm and traffic, which is usually pretty decent on a Friday was horrible. There was a SIG Alert on the 101 at White Oak. I have to drive past White Oak to get to work. This was at 6am. "That's OKAY" I told myself, I'll just leave a bit early and take a side street to work. Apparently I was not the only one with this idea. It usually takes me 10-15 minutes to get from the 405 split to work. I got off on the 405 today and took it to Victory. From there it took me 45 minutes to go 5 miles. I emailed my manager to let her know I would be late and was happy that when I pulled into the parking lot that many people were in the same boat. Two of the other music researchers were not there yet and they didn't arrive until about half an hour after I did. So that was almost 2 hours in the car this morning. Then I worked a full day in a cramped cubicle.

Then on the way home it took me another hour and a half due to accidents in Hollywood. I did get to see the sun set in my rear view mirror which was sort of pretty, but I would have exchanged that view for a simple 40 minute drive home.

Now I'm sore. I'm tired. And I don't really want to get back into my car until Monday.