Today Starts Another New Chapter (or Two) In My Story

It's finally here! Tonight at 6pm, I will begin my Captain's Class. I am nervous, excited, anxious, curious, full of hope, and ready to embrace the challenge. I am looking forward to learning new things, meeting some new people, and to devote almost everything I have to this endeavor. Thanks again to all who made it happen and now it's up to me to succeed and make myself, as well as all my believers, proud.

I am also starting this new chapter as an engaged woman. It happened last week. Eric and I will be getting married on August 10. We decided to do it AFTER Lollapalooza weekend (I don't want to be downtown with thousands of suburban teenagers), and the 10th is fitting because August is the month in which we first met, and it is the day of Drum Corps Internationals World Class Finals. Eric introduced me to DCI and all things drum corps. We are going to get married at City Hall, then probably wander over to the Riverwalk and take some pictures with the water taxis, then join some friends and family for drinks/a light bite somewhere and end the day with the Wendella fireworks cruise. These plans are preliminary, except for the getting married at City Hall part, and I am open to any ideas or suggestions people might have.

The path to getting to this point hasn't been smooth and it hasn't been easy, but it has made for a very interesting and full life. Sure there have been tears, arguments, times apart, doubts and problems. Throughout it all though there has been laughter, happiness, adventures, and most of all love. This rings true for Captains Class and for getting married.

I'll be blogging more with class and wedding plan updates. I hope you'll enjoy following along as the story continues to unfold.

How I U-Turned My Way Into Captain's Class

First of all I want to apologize for bitching and complaining for most of the month of January. Those of you who have been reading, or who follow me on Facebook you know that I've been something of a "downer." I have 'Sadness' from the movie "Inside Out" on my car keychain.

It's kind of funny because it's me, but then again it's not because I've been personifying her for the past couple of weeks and that's not something anyone likes...especially me. So many people are going through things of their own, that I have no right to bitch about the little things. Not all molehills are mountains.

Secondly I want to thank each and every person who reads this, who comments on my Facebook posts, who message me, who text me, who email me, and who most of all...love me. The tears I cried today are tears of happiness. Tears of relief. Tears of realization that I am loved, in different ways, by so many people. So again, thank you for the positive comments, the suggestions, the recommendations, the donations, the friendship, and the caring.

Thirdly, I am going to be in the Spring Captain's Class. When I had my accident on the 13th, after just having my car at the mechanic for some expensive repair work, I was crushed. When Lyft said I was responsible for the $2500 deductible, I knew that this was the end of my class. That there was no way I could pay for the car repairs AND class, no matter how much I drove once and IF I got the car back. But thanks to Eric's Mom, Linda who believes in me and who loves me like I daughter, I got my car back and had gas money to start driving again for Lyft. Then I heard from my insurance company who said that they would actually pay the difference between the repairs and my deductible which was only $500. I asked Linda if she wanted the check from the insurance company and she said "no...you're family, you use that for your class." Then today, I got an email from my aunt. Apparently my brother told her that I was in an accident and was having issues paying for captain's class. She called me silly and that she was there to help if I needed it, that all I had to do was ask. She is also pitching in so I can achieve my dream. So it turns out that accident was actually the best thing that could have happened to me, instead of the worst. I am looking forward to February 19th and taking my friends on this journey with me. Let's replace Sadness with something else.

Day 8--A book you love and one you didn't

Boy, I am about a week behind on these. My fault. Just doing to much during the day/evening and then being too tired to write, but I'm going to catch up today.

Asking me to pick one book I love is like asking a parent to pick a favorite child, but since it just says "a" book, I suppose out of the thousands I do love, that I can pick one. The one I didn't is probably easier, but I'll do them in order.

One of the books I love and have always loved is actually a collection of short stories by Pam Houston called "Cowboys Are My Weakness" published in 1992. She hasn't written much since this one but these are so good, she really didn't have to. These stories are great for single girls or women to read. They have adventure, romance, humor--everything that I was looking for at the time. My Mom told me about the book, as my parents taught me about lots of authors I ended up enjoying. What I like about them is that it's intelligent women looking for men. I had just graduated from college when this came out and it was perfect for me at the time because I was working at a riding stable. I have often reread this book and it always brings a smile to my face.

I was an English major in college so I read a lot of books. Some of them I liked, some I was really not a fan of. One of those books was "The Brothers Karamazov"by Dostoevsky. Could be that I was taking a Russian literature course where we read "War and Peace", "Anna Karenina" and "The Brothers Karamazov" all in the same semester (along with some other short stories). These books are long and everyone is named Vronsky, or Viktor or some V name and it's hard to keep track of the characters. Now I had already read the poem contained within the book "The Grand Inquisitor" and wasn't a fan of the poem either. Funny thing about me not liking this book though was that my best friend at the time thought it was the greatest book she had ever read and when I told her I didn't like it she told me to "take it back." Well, it was my opinion so I didn't take it back. Maybe that's why we're not best friends anymore. But anyway, I find most Russian literature dark, long and boring. It also doesn't know when to end. They seem to write another 300 pages after what I would see as the ending, just because they can. I mean, maybe there was nothing else to do during the long Russian winters. And I know Dostoevsky wrote it as a "serial" so maybe he just wanted to keep his readers before he thought of something else to write. Anyway, it's not my favorite. Whereas I would pick up "Cowboys Are My Weakness" anytime...I would probably only pick up "The Brothers Karamozov" again if I was forced to.

On The Eve of my 41st Birthday

Yes. What is 41? It's not an important "BIG" birthday, like 21, or 30 or 40 or 50. It's not the meaning of life, which we all know is 42! It's a prime number, meaning it's only divisible by 1 and itself, but are you really in your "prime" when you reach 41? Some say yes, some say no way and I say I haven't quite decided yet. No, I'm not exactly where I thought I would be at this age. I'm not married, I don't have kids, I'm not living on a horse farm in Kentucky, which was my dream when I was younger, or in England, which became a dream when I got older. I haven't published a book or even completed writing one. My grandparents and my parents are all gone.

On the positive side, my 41 years have been quite interesting. I have learned a lot through school and through living. I have lived in 5 different states and traveled to many more. I have been in the minority group and the majority group. I have graduated from high school. I have graduated with a degree from college. I have read some of the greatest books of all time. I have voted. I have served as a foreperson on a jury. I have bought and sold a house or two. I have bought and sold a horse or 3 or more. I have owned my dream car and realized it wasn't such a dream after all. I have worked with my hands as barn help and horse trainer, I have worked in a corporate setting, I have worked with motorcycles, I have worked in one of the iconic museums in the World. I have taken a break from work. I have moved back in with my parents, and in turn, had them move back in with me. I have been nurturing and been nurtured. I have lost a child. I have made friends, I have made enemies. I have made music. I have been on TV. I have created works of art. I have created poetry. I have written so that I wouldn't harm myself. I have written songs. I have made up words. I have tattoos, 13 of them, all of which tell a story. I have been on stage. I have seen Broadway shows, but have yet to visit Broadway. I have never been to Las Vegas. I have eaten at a Michelin starred restaurant and I have eaten in dives. I have met famous people. I have played sports, watched sports, and most of all loved sports. I have watched Michael Jordan fly to the basket. I have watched the Bears win and lose a Super Bowl. I have watched the Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup and have seen the Cup. I have seen Tiger Woods play golf. I have been to White Sox games. I have been to Cubs games. I have not seen the Cubs win a World Series. I have had long hair, short hair and now graying hair. I have traveled, but not as much as I would have liked to. I have swum in lakes, oceans, seas, and swimming pools. I have been a computer geek and a cool chick. I have chopped down my own Christmas tree and I have had an artificial Christmas tree. I have survived blizzards and heat waves. I have seen a tornado. I have been on a cruise ship. I have been through the Panama Canal. I have been on 3 continents. I have had money and I have been poor. I have won blue ribbons. I have gained and lost weight. I have been shy and I have been bold when necessary. I have stood my ground and I have run away. I have stayed up all night. I have gone to bed early. I have adopted pets. I have found strength even when I didn't think I had any. I have loved, I have been loved and I have lost love and loved ones. I have been adventurous, and I have stayed close to home. But most of all I have lived. So looking back on some of the things I've done throughout my life...maybe 41 Is Just...me.

A Man Like Edward

I will admit that until tonight I had never seen any of the "Twilight" movies. I'm not really one to go to midnight showings of the latest flick and really don't want to sit in a theatre full of screaming teenage girls, even though I used to be one myself. I love the Harry Potter books and movies, but I have never been to a midnight release of those books and/or movies either. I didn't think I really wanted to see another "vampire" movie and thought Kristen Stewart basically had only one facial expression--bored teenager-- whether in the movies or in interviews I've seen on TV. I also believed that I would never see Robert Pattinson as anyone other than Cedric Diggory from the Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire movie.

I have friends on Facebook who were planning on taking daughters, nieces and friends to the latest midnight release of the latest "Twilight" saga on Wednesday evening. I couldn't understand why they would subject themselves to that, especially if they had to work the next morning. But I can now, sort of, see where they are coming from.

Edward Cullen is an interesting character and a man we all would love to have in our lives. Whether teenager or older woman. He has good looks, a loving family that would accept us for who we are, he's polite to fathers, he can play sports, he is intelligent, he never sleeps, he drives a whole bunch of neat cars, he plays the piano, he lets us dance on his feet, he can take us to places we've never been before, and he watches over us as we sleep yet he cannot read our minds so he's never going to figure out what we're really thinking. Plus he will fight to keep us alive at any cost. He wants nothing more than to protect us. On the downside, he's got cold skin, and he is a bit moody and could kill us at any moment. I also think it would be tough for him to stay in one place for very long. I mean, he can't keep going to high school in the same town for years and years. I did really like the clever artwork in the house where they had a whole bunch of graduation caps.

The first movie was good. Took a little to get into, but once the action started I thought it was interesting and had some good plot twists. I almost hate to admit that I'd actually like to see the next two movies. I'd also like to read the books.

Those of you who have already seen all the movies or read the books please don't ruin it for me. I want to decide for myself if I should be on Team Edward or Team Jacob. Right now though, Edward looks pretty good to me.

Throwing in the Towel

Ok, that's it. I quit. My literary pursuit of the 100 most notable books of 2009 by The New York Times is over. I know I only read 10 books, but I only enjoyed one of them so I figured it was best to move on to books I do like. Now I'm not saying The New York Times doesn't know what it's talking about, and I'm sure the books all had their merits, but they just weren't my kind of reading. The last book, "Love and Summer" was hard to follow, didn't really have much of a story, and left you with characters who had unresolved issues/lives. One passage in the book did make me cry, but that was the passage about an old dog passing away. It was probably the best written passage in the whole book and that's not saying much. I think my tears were more due to the fact that I'm an animal lover, rather than the beauty of the writing.

So without further ado, I am now reading Jasper Fforde's latest book "Shades of Grey." I love Jasper Fforde. He has written a series of novels called the Thursday Next books which involve a woman who travels through time and helps various literary characters. It's part mystery, part comedy and is absolutely perfect for those of us who were English majors in college. If you haven't read some of the great novels of our time, you won't get it. "Shades of Grey" is a different novel, this is about people who live in a world of colors and their society is based on their colors. The main character, Eddie Russett is a "red" who is supposed to marry another "red" but then falls in love with a "grey" woman who threatens to break his jaw the first time she meets him. I am thoroughly enjoying this book and was laughing out loud just by reading the table of contents. I'm only a quarter of the way through the book, so I can't give a full review yet but I know I will enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed Fforde's other novels.

Yes, a part of me feels bad that I didn't make my goal. I didn't even come close to reading two books a week. And I even feel guilty about giving up, and perhaps there are some books on that list that I am truly missing out on. But as I believe I have mentioned before, I love reading, it is a great joy, a great escape, a great way for me to spend my time, and I simply wasn't enjoying the books I was reading. Reading shouldn't be a chore and that's what it felt like it had become.

So I'm happier and believe it or not, will probably get a lot more books read than I had originally planned.