I am a Mafia Wars widow

In about a month from now you will notice a change to the roadways, shopping malls, and restaurants near where you live, especially on Sunday afternoons. Football season begins and in many households the women will have to find somewhere else to go. The men in their lives will sit down beginning around noon (depending on your time zone) and be fully engaged for the next 8 to 12 hours... completely ignoring their significant others. Women, short of standing in front of the television naked, will not be seen or heard. In fact, they will basically cease to exist. These women have been named by popular culture at "Football Widows." I am lucky however. In my household, very early on, I learned that if I wanted to spend time with my family, I had better learn to love watching football. I am now, some 30 plus years later, a football fanatic. So you will not find me out shopping/dining/commiserating with other women on Sundays. You will find me in front of the TV, cheering on my favorite team, watching games I'm not particularly interested in and betting in pools on ESPN.

No, I am a widow of the Facebook generation. More specifically a Mafia Wars widow. About 6 months ago when I joined Facebook in order to catch up with old friends and search for a job, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to join. He said "no, I'm not really interested," so I let it go. I logged onto Facebook daily, posted pictures, made comments to my friends and on occasion I would play a game. It started out innocently with Bejeweled Blitz and Farkle. Then one day I got a request to join "Mafia Wars" from one of my friends in Florida. I joined his Mafia and for about 10 to 20 minutes a day, would go do my jobs, bank my money and be happy.

Two months ago my boyfriend decided to join Facebook. He started out slowly with 6 friends and didn't get what the big deal of Facebook was. So, I thought since he's a "guy's guy" that he might want to join my mafia, do a few jobs, whack a few mobsters and so forth. I sent him an invitation and never realized that I was going to create a monster. We had a mafia of 7 people, 2 of whom didn't play past level 2. As he began to play more, he began to read the forums, the rules. He told me about jobs on different levels (I had been doing all the jobs on the first level again and again). He told me that fighting would increase my experience points. He taught me about collections that I could vault. This was all well and good and we were both having a good time. We both decided that we needed to increase our mafia. I went to the "add me" forum as did he. I posted my link and gained about 10 members. He went through all 132 pages of "add me" links and gained 150 members. After about a week of playing, I was at level 42 and he was at level 18. He would sit, almost dejectedly, reading the forums about how to improve in the game and say "I'm never going to catch up to you."

Famous last words. He started buying properties like there was no tomorrow so he could bank over $2,000,000 each hour. He would buy Mafia Mike's so he could gain income without any upkeep. When he needed more Mafia members to own more Mafia Mike's, he would again go through the forums and use the "add me" links. About 2 weeks ago I started a new job and when I would get home he would say "how many mafia do you have?" I would say "175 or something," and he would get this devilish grin on his face. "I'm up to 501 now." So it didn't take very long for him to grow his mafia to over 1,000 members and when I came home on Friday he said "I joined another family." So he's now in 2 mafias of over 1,000 members apiece. He has surpassed my level by 8 levels or so, has more hitlist kills, and the other day banked 1,000,000.000 (which I am still trying to do). When he asks for something off of his wishlist he gets them tenfold.

Now, I am very happy that he enjoys this game and is flourishing and has become one of the most respected players in the game. I get a little jealous over the other women that send him gifts and tell him how funny he is, but I am secure in our relationship an know that he won't leave me for one of them and that his "flirting" is one of his mafia characteristics.

My boyfriend is highly competitive and I like that about him. He wants to succeed in everything he does and I love that about him. This makes me know that he is passionate about his life and especially about me.

My problem is that I have become a 'widow', meaning that when I get home from work he's on the computer playing mafia wars and will listen to how my day went, but then will play until it's time to go to bed. "Just let me use up my stamina and I'll be right there," is something I hear almost nightly. He gets upset when he gets hitlisted. He gets upset when he loses a fight. He cheers when he scores a hit. He will stay up just to "level up." When he's posting to a Mafia Wars forum, or trying to take someone out, I can't talk to him. I can tell him something, but he doesn't hear it. He will stop to eat for dinner, but I almost have to drop the food on top of the laptop so he'll close it. Mafia Wars is the last thing he does before he goes to bed, and his computer is on and he's waiting for his energy pack before his coffee is ready in the morning. I have had to force him to turn it off for a few hours because he is getting too involved. One minute he'll be happy that he's robbing someone blind, the next he'll be angry that some level 59 dared to try and fight him. By the time I get home from work, we have about 3 hours to spend together and I'd say 2 hours and 40 minutes of those are spent on the computer. He has threatened to hitlist me. And unlike football widows, Mafia Wars is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Currently he is at level 89 and I am at level 82. He has 1,420 members, I have 255. Today I asked him if he would turn off the computer while we watched the NASCAR race. He agreed, went and got us lunch, and when he walked in the door said "Can I bank my money before the race starts?" I can't win.


I really like Facebook, I really like Mafia Wars. I really love my boyfriend. We spend many quality hours together. But I am really looking forward to football season so we can both sit on the couch and make widows out of each other on Sunday.