On The Eve of my 41st Birthday

Yes. What is 41? It's not an important "BIG" birthday, like 21, or 30 or 40 or 50. It's not the meaning of life, which we all know is 42! It's a prime number, meaning it's only divisible by 1 and itself, but are you really in your "prime" when you reach 41? Some say yes, some say no way and I say I haven't quite decided yet. No, I'm not exactly where I thought I would be at this age. I'm not married, I don't have kids, I'm not living on a horse farm in Kentucky, which was my dream when I was younger, or in England, which became a dream when I got older. I haven't published a book or even completed writing one. My grandparents and my parents are all gone.

On the positive side, my 41 years have been quite interesting. I have learned a lot through school and through living. I have lived in 5 different states and traveled to many more. I have been in the minority group and the majority group. I have graduated from high school. I have graduated with a degree from college. I have read some of the greatest books of all time. I have voted. I have served as a foreperson on a jury. I have bought and sold a house or two. I have bought and sold a horse or 3 or more. I have owned my dream car and realized it wasn't such a dream after all. I have worked with my hands as barn help and horse trainer, I have worked in a corporate setting, I have worked with motorcycles, I have worked in one of the iconic museums in the World. I have taken a break from work. I have moved back in with my parents, and in turn, had them move back in with me. I have been nurturing and been nurtured. I have lost a child. I have made friends, I have made enemies. I have made music. I have been on TV. I have created works of art. I have created poetry. I have written so that I wouldn't harm myself. I have written songs. I have made up words. I have tattoos, 13 of them, all of which tell a story. I have been on stage. I have seen Broadway shows, but have yet to visit Broadway. I have never been to Las Vegas. I have eaten at a Michelin starred restaurant and I have eaten in dives. I have met famous people. I have played sports, watched sports, and most of all loved sports. I have watched Michael Jordan fly to the basket. I have watched the Bears win and lose a Super Bowl. I have watched the Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup and have seen the Cup. I have seen Tiger Woods play golf. I have been to White Sox games. I have been to Cubs games. I have not seen the Cubs win a World Series. I have had long hair, short hair and now graying hair. I have traveled, but not as much as I would have liked to. I have swum in lakes, oceans, seas, and swimming pools. I have been a computer geek and a cool chick. I have chopped down my own Christmas tree and I have had an artificial Christmas tree. I have survived blizzards and heat waves. I have seen a tornado. I have been on a cruise ship. I have been through the Panama Canal. I have been on 3 continents. I have had money and I have been poor. I have won blue ribbons. I have gained and lost weight. I have been shy and I have been bold when necessary. I have stood my ground and I have run away. I have stayed up all night. I have gone to bed early. I have adopted pets. I have found strength even when I didn't think I had any. I have loved, I have been loved and I have lost love and loved ones. I have been adventurous, and I have stayed close to home. But most of all I have lived. So looking back on some of the things I've done throughout my life...maybe 41 Is Just...me.