A Whole New Vocabulary

This past week I have been training to be a deckhand. Not only has my body had to adjust to being active again, but my mind has had to grasp an entire new vocabulary as I venture into a business I knew very little about. Sure, I had ridden the water taxi as a passenger and even taken the architecture tour a time or two. I had also taken a few cruises on much bigger vessels, so I knew my port from my starboard side, forward and aft, and my bow from my stern. But there are a whole bunch of acronyms and terms and knots to now keep straight. For example, I got an email on Wednesday afternoon titled DH 1 MOB Drill. DH stands for deckhand, the 1 stands for level 1 which means you get to wear 1 stripe on your epaulet (the captain has 4), and MOB stands for Man Overboard. I was supposed to complete training on Wednesday but this being Chicago in the passage between Winter and Spring, we could not complete the drill because the decks were icy and it was too cold, and apparently you can't earn your stripe until you pull a 150 lb. dummy (named Oscar) out of the river while the boat is in motion. So, I had to go back on Friday morning and save Oscar. Even during that one drill there was new vocabulary, you have to learn how "high" and "wide" the victim is from the "mark". This helps the captain maneuver the boat so you can pull the victim out of the water. High is how many feet away from the mark the victim is and wide is the number of degrees. The mark is a small platform at the bottom of the ladder you deploy to stand on to bring the victim on board. Once you've got the victim to the platform you can yell "Victim on/at mark!"

I also learned what the different hatches are called, from the lazarette to the forepeak and what's contained in each one.  There are also safety terms, such as the VSO which is the Vessel Security Officer a.k.a. the captain. We also have the CSO (Company Security Officer) and FSO (Facilities Security Officer). Then there are MARSEC levels. MARSEC stands for Maritime Security Level. These are levels set by the Coast Guard (just like levels set after 9/11). We needed to learn what to do at each level and what happens if the level changes while we're out on the river or lake. There are restricted areas on the boat unless you have a TWIC card. This stands for Transportation Worker Identification Credential and can be applied for. Most captains and senior deckhands hold these cards.

There are ABC fire extinguishers and BC extinguishers. There is a COI (Certificate of Inspection) on each vessel. There are also all the people around, from the Engineer, to the Dock Attendant, to the GSA (Guest Services Attendant).

This coming week, I get to learn even more since the water taxis are all different types of boats from the tour boats I was trained on.

So from sweeping  4 inches of snow off the upper deck of a vessel on Tuesday, to using a squeegee to get water off the decks on Friday, and completing fire and abandon ship drills on Wednesday, I am a little tired, a little sore, but very happy.

One More Week

Next week at this time I will be at orientation for my new job as a deckhand with the Wendella Sightseeing Co. and I can't wait! I need to get into a new routine, I need a sense of purpose, a place to go every day.

Since I left California and came back "home", I have had a couple of routines. The first one involved getting the apartment back into a livable condition. That was fine because I was busy all day. I was shopping or cleaning or throwing things out or building furniture or reuniting with old friends, introducing myself back to Chicago. Then came the holidays and there was baking and cooking added to the mix. I was also job hunting the entire time. Sending out resume after resume, but it's very hard to get a job during the holidays when many of the decision makers are out of the office.

So, after the holidays and after going through the money I had to sustain me while on this transition, I got into a routine that I'm not really happy with. I'd get up in the morning, feed the cats, feed the birds, watch the news, watch some game shows, watch The Chew, give the cats a snack, watch more game shows, watch the news, watch a movie or something on TV, feed the cats and then go to bed. I ventured out a couple of times; even after the car got repossessed I walked to the pharmacy, the grocery store, or the post office. I went downtown and took the train out to the suburbs to have lunch with a friend. But mostly my routine was the same day in and day out. The cats mostly sleep during the day and sometimes I did too. I play games on my phone. I was starting to get a little stir crazy. Hell, I've even been spending time watching a giraffe that could, according to all the sites running the video, "at any moment" have a baby. I had the desire to go out, but no funds to do it. Eric's Mom takes me grocery shopping every Saturday, but that's necessity and errands.

I did get excited about the thought of going to pastry/baking school and I am still excited about that, but also aware that it costs money and financial aid will only help a little bit, so that dream may be put on hold.

Luckily, I applied to Wendella one afternoon. I have fond memories of taking the water taxi from the train station to the Wrigley Building in the morning and back in the afternoons. It was relaxing. It was quiet, and it was way more fun than the bus! So I went in for an interview on a sunny, warm Friday and was told I only needed to pass a drug test and a background check. So I took my drug test the same afternoon I had the interview and filled out the background check the Monday after the interview and last Wednesday was told I got the job! Yay!

So, next Monday I have orientation all day. Then I'll have 3 days of (paid) training and then I can officially start as a deckhand. It will be challenging but it will be fun. I'll get to meet all sorts of new people, share my love of Chicago with people who are just visiting, and probably get to know a few of the regular commuters. This will be an excellent kick-start to my new routine. I'll also be making money so when I have some time off I can go to a movie, or to lunch, or to buy my own groceries and pay my own cell phone bill. I'll also get to put a little money away for culinary school. No one ever said starting over was easy, but I consider this a big step towards making me feel like Robin again.

What Do I Want to Be When I Grow Up?

They ask this question of kids as soon as they learn the concept of having a job (career). I love horses and all other animals. That love started at a very early age so I used to say I wanted to be a veterinarian. Then I discovered that I couldn't stand to see animals in pain, always made me cry so that was out. In high school and college I followed in my Mom and Dad's footsteps and thought I would like to be a journalist. After the first year at Mizzou, I discovered I didn't want people telling me HOW to write. So I switched to child psychology. I had babysat for many years and spent all of my high school and college summers as a camp counselor. Then I decided I didn't want to stay in school for another 3 years just to get an entry level job. So I graduated with a Bachelor's degree in English. Everyone said "Oh, you're going to be a teacher." No. I used to joke with people that I was going to take horses with emotional problems and read them great works of literature to cure them.

I have had a very interesting job history so far. I taught people how to ride horses for a couple of years after college, while enjoyable, it didn't pay the bills. I worked as a receptionist at a small computer place. Then I moved back to Chicago and worked at an ad agency for a year, when they lost their biggest client, I was "downsized." Then I worked at the American Bar Association. I started out as an administrative assistant and moved all the way up to project coordinator. Then my step-father and mom died in the same year, so I took some time off. I worked at a model train store in a mall and I worked at a motorcycle shop and even did a few months as a receptionist back at my old high school. Then I moved to Florida and worked for a Harley-Davidson dealership as a marketing coordinator. I left Florida and moved back to Chicago and got some temp jobs, including one at ComEd and one at the Museum of Science and Industry at their Harry Potter exhibit. Then I got my long-term temp job with CDW. Would maybe still be there if I hadn't moved to California to help Eric pursue his dreams. In California I worked at as a music research assistant, moving all the way up to supervisor. Then things changed and now I'm back in Chicago. I have excelled at all my jobs, but I'm not sure any of them have been what I wanted to do as a career. People still ask me what I want to do with my life and I don't have an answer. I like to write, I like to read, I learn and pick up new technology quickly, I get along with almost everyone, but I can't say that any of those things are a passion.

So, being unemployed and looking for jobs and interviewing and not having any luck at the moment and losing the car and being basically broke, I truly now have the chance to start over. Eric emailed me after I emailed him about the car and asked if I had ever considered going to culinary school for baking/pastry. As Gru would say...

For those of you who follow me on Instagram or Twitter or on Facebook, you know I LOVE to bake. You've seen my hashtag #bakingismytherapy. I've always felt better when baking and always know I'm going to get sick when I have the uncontrollable urge to bake chocolate chip cookies. I've made cheesecake for friends and loved ones even though I don't eat it myself. My Mom, Dad and Step-Father all passed on their culinary knowledge to me and taught me how to love food and the process of cooking. My Dad and I briefly thought of starting a catering business together, but got sidetracked with other things. I love all the cooking programs on TV and see that most chefs don't do baking or pastry so it would be a good thing to learn.

I've started to look into culinary programs at schools here in Chicago. Le Cordon Bleu is closing all it's schools so that one is out, but there is The French Pastry School of Chicago, Kendall College and the Illinois Institute of Art which all offer several different programs/degrees/certificates in baking/pastry. They've started to call and I'm looking at literature and planning on visiting the campuses or going to open houses. I know I'm older. I know I'll be in school with much younger students, but it's never too late to start doing what you really love, is it? I need to do more research because I am overly cautious, but I am also optimistic.

I think I may have discovered what it is I want to be.

Yet Another Loss--Oh Well

The repo men came in the cold, dark night and took Alain out of the driveway and towed him off somewhere. I was asleep and didn't realize he was gone until I got a phone call this morning from Eric's Mom asking if I was okay. "Yes, why wouldn't I be?" "Your car is gone" she said. I went outside and looked over the porch and sure enough, just a tire mark in the mud where Alain used to sit. "Well, shit." I got off the phone with her and on the phone with the police. They told me that the car had been repossessed.

I knew this was a possibility, but didn't know it would happen without any warning or any written notice. I moved back to Chicago in November and have been looking constantly for a job, and despite a couple of interviews, have not gotten one yet, so it was hard to keep up with the car payments. I would ignore the calls from the creditor or when I tried to call them, would be put on hold for over 35 minutes. That's the average time for each time I attempted to call them back.

I will admit that I shed some tears. Quite a few tears, to be honest, but they are all gone now. In my first post of 2017 I mentioned that this was the year of moving forward...no looking back. Yes, this is a setback. Not only to my ego, but also my lifestyle, not to mention my credit report. Yet, I am no longer upset about this and here are the reasons why.

First of all, I never really liked this car. Sure, it was newer than my Subaru and had Sirius/XM radio and a backup camera, but I was bullied into buying it. I told the sales person and the finance guy I couldn't afford the payments. Eric told the sales person and the finance guy I couldn't afford the payments. When the dealership said they could make it work, I reluctantly agreed, telling them the entire time that I would be perfectly happy with an older, smaller, CHEAPER car. When they brought him out and there was a big scratch on the bumper and I mentioned it. "Oh yeah", they said "they can't buff that out, but you already signed the paperwork. Too bad." When I gave them a HORRIBLE review on Yelp about the entire sales process they called and pleaded and reduced my payments but they were still more than I was comfortable with. This car also made a horrible noise when the wind was coming out of the North or West. It was a high-pitched roaring, coming from the side view mirrors. It also had a weird spot on the windshield, right in my line of sight at night. Alain did get good gas mileage and he did get me and the kitties back to Chicago, so he did his job. Also, I wouldn't have lasted too long in Los Angeles without a car. I wish him luck at the auction in which he will inevitably be sold.

Second, I live in a city with EXCELLENT public transportation. When I was without a car in California, I had to leave for work in the dark hours of the morning just to get there on time. I had to walk far distances to get to stops convenient to my location. Now, I can walk less than a block and get on a bus, which will take me into the city, or which can take me to a train, or another bus. Or I can walk a mile and get on a different train that takes me to the city, or to the suburbs. I can also get on a bus for a short distance and rent a bike (when the weather is warmer). That bike can take me all over the city and I can drop it off at several locations. All of this will help with my fitness goals for the year.

Third, it's cheaper. I don't have to make the car payments anymore. I don't have to pay insurance anymore. I don't have to buy gas anymore. I don't have to buy a city sticker or a license plate sticker. I don't have to pay the Sirius/XM subscription anymore. I don't have to pay for car washes, or washer fluid.

Finally, I shouldn't be upset. I couldn't and didn't make the payments so this is the consequence. I am luckier than a lot of people. I have a roof over my head. I have food in my refrigerator and pantry. I have clothes on my back. I have heat, and running water, and kitties that wake me up at all hours of the night to be fed, or to be loved. I have my health. I have friends and family that love me.  All things considered, I've been through worse, I've lost more.

So I don't have a car anymore. So what.

Creative Workouts

So this week I haven't been following my 31-day challenge workout routine at all. The first day I had to watch a 10 minute video on how to do a 1 minute yoga pose and figured that if it was that complicated, maybe I'm not ready for it.

I've continued on with my stretching and I've been doing other things which may not seem like workouts but are definitely burning calories and keeping me moving for at least 15 minutes or more at a time. One was making a pound cake for a friend of mine. I had to use a hand mixer to beat the mixture for at least 10 minutes, which worked out my arms. I also had to do many dishes since the recipe called for each component to be in it's own bowl. I also just used a spoon to mix hot chocolate mix into some of the batter along with stirring in some chocolate chips. I also used a back and forth motion with the spatula to smooth the batter into a bread pan. I've cleaned out the litter boxes which involves bending and lifting and then taking stairs to throw the debris out. I've done lots of dishes including heavy bowls and I've actually done some of the dishes while balancing on one leg or another. I've made my bed every day, tucking in sheets and smoothing out the duvet. I scraped about half an inch of ice off of my car. I swept the living room and even moved furniture to get under things, and moved a 6 foot ladder into another room. I shook out the welcome mat and the bathroom rug. All of these don't sound like exercise and they aren't in the traditional sense, but they are doing something rather than me just sitting on the couch all day.

I've also really craved fast food this week, especially today, but I have stuck to my guns and cooked meals for myself every day instead. It saves money and is healthier in the long run. I did go out to lunch with a friend on Thursday but we just had a couple of appetizers and those were relatively healthy.

Although I've felt a little guilty for abandoning my challenge, I am proud of myself for doing something rather than nothing.

Drinking Water is a Challenge for Me

When I was growing up, you drank when you were thirsty. From the sink, from the hose, from a glass of water your Mom gave you to put next to your bed, or from the bubbler (drinking fountain) at school. Now water is everywhere. In fact, beverages are everywhere. You can't go to the grocery store without sipping on something. Even the carts have cup holders in them. At the jobs I've held in the past, they give you a cup when you start so you can always have something to drink at your desk during the day.

This is a problem with me. I tend to get busy at work and forget to drink my large cup of water. Or I'm doing something during the day or cooking or whatever and I don't carry a bottle with me everywhere. I find that I am able to make it through grocery shopping without coffee, or water, or gatorade. I find that I can travel short distances without having a drink in my car.

As I've gotten older I've developed some problems with kidney stones and needed surgery twice to remove them. Part of that comes from not drinking enough water. My urologist says that my goal, is to have constantly clear pee. So I'm trying. I have bottles of water that I refill from the tap and drink and if I feel a little tinge of pain in my flanks, I down a gallon of water. But I still don't drink enough. The stubborn in me says I shouldn't do what they say, I'm an adult, I can handle it. Don't tell me what to do. But in order to be healthier and to help lose weight, I'm supposed to drink water...ALL THE TIME.

I hardly drink alcohol, so drinking water shouldn't be that big of a deal. I've even tried getting into "sparkling water" so I don't miss soda so much, but I don't like that either. I've added citrus slices to my water to try and make it fancy or more interesting. Nope. I drink it, but it's not a big deal. I don't have a glass of water next to my bed at night. I don't get up in the morning and down a bottle of water or two, although I suppose I should.

So, as part of my fitness challenge I am challenging myself to drink more water. For me, it's almost harder than exercise.

Today is the First Day I've Felt Winter

One of the nice things about living in California for 3 years was the mild winters. I could survive California winters with a sweatshirt most times and we rarely ran the heat. It was nice, but I always find it weird to put up a Christmas tree while wearing shorts or while everything is still green.

Luckily, I moved back to Chicago in November and it was surprisingly mild here in the Midwest. I had lunch with a friend the first week I moved back and it was in the 70's. I was happy about the mild temps because I had lost most of my clothes in my "transition" period in L.A. and only had 3 pairs of shoes (2 pairs of sneakers and 1 pair of flip-flops). After the mild weather we got snow every weekend for about three weeks. Again, I didn't mind it because I hadn't experienced it in a few years. It was pretty, made it feel more like the holidays, etc.  After the snow, another mild streak. It was almost 40 degrees on Christmas and all the snow had melted.

Now the holidays are over and apparently so is the mild weather. This week we have had wind chills below zero all day for the past 3 days. I've been feeding some sparrows with a bird feeder on my porch and usually I can go out and sweep the seed debris away without having to get bundled up. Yesterday, sweeping was cold. I went out Friday night and it was cold. Again though, I haven't minded it. I've missed seeing my breath and frost on the windows.

Today that changed. I got up early to go to the grocery store and I needed to put gas in the car. I bought some mittens when I first got back because I knew I'd need something. It's hard to pump gas in mittens. So standing at the gas station this morning waiting for the gas to finish it's journey into my car, I was cold. My face was cold, my hands were cold, and even though I was wearing warm boots and a jacket, I was cold. I was cold when I got back into the car and put my mittens back on. It took me almost the entire drive to the grocery store to warm up. Leaving the grocery store I was cold again. The bottle of juice I bought started to fog up as I walked from the store back to my car. My trunk hesitated before opening. The sun was shining, but I couldn't wait to get the groceries back upstairs, feed the sparrows and be inside for the rest of the day.

Winter is here and now I know it.