Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This

Coming up in November of 2012, my mother will have been gone for 14 years. I miss her most every day but today was especially hard.  We all have traditions around the holidays and our family was no different. We used to open presents on Christmas Eve and have oysters and lobster for dinner.  It was never Christmas in our house unless you got a new book, and usually you got a calendar as well.  I used to get horse calendars a lot because they were my favorite animal.  (I always wondered why the picture of the horse for May was always a white/gray one...but maybe that's for another post).  I got Cow calendars after I moved to Wisconsin and decorated my kitchen with any sort of bovine item I could find.  My mother got Kleiban Cat calendars or calendars with pictures of food or flowers.

On January 1, or the 2nd as today is...my mom and I used to sit at the dining room table armed with a bunch of new colored pens or pencils, our new calendars and our calendars from the year just passed.  We would slowly go through month by month and put in birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and any appointments we knew we might have coming up.  It was a way to reflect on the year gone by and a way to look forward to the upcoming year as well. The Rose Parade was usually on in the background and we would watch the beautiful floats as we created beautiful little pictures in the small squares of our calendars. We drew hearts on the square for February 14th, a shamrock for March 17th, an egg or a bunny or a basket for whenever Easter was.  Relatives birthday's used to be marked in the same color and the birthday it was would be proudly displayed...My mom's birthday was January 7th so that was always the first entry."Bapa is 73!" for my grandfather, or "My 22nd" on May 5th for my day.  Friends would get their birthday's listed as well, usually in a different color than our relatives, but distinctive enough so we knew who was celebrating when.  It usually took us an hour or so and we'd talk and laugh and remember as we did this.

But times and traditions change. I don't have a wall calendar this year. Yesterday, I put birthdays, anniversaries and appointments into the calendar on my iPhone.  Today, I watched the Rose parade alone.

Good Riddance to 2011

The end of a year is usually a time to look back and reflect on the year that has just passed by.  Sometimes we'd rather not reflect on the year and this year is one of those times.  I should have known when Eric took a tumble down the stairs last New Year's Eve that 2011 was going to be a challenge and I must say it was. February brought "Snowmageddon" and I twisted my knee horribly walking through a snowdrift to get to work. Not to mention our furnace died that day and my car got stuck in the snow trying to get to Home Depot for a space heater. Eric lost his job back in early March and so money was tight.  We lived paycheck to paycheck and if it wasn't for Eric's mom, there were times when we would have had to live on ramen noodles. There were changes at work, which weren't necessarily bad, but they were challenging. We went through 2 new bosses, more responsibility and I'm still a contractor or "temp" as they used to be called. Yet another year of no paid holidays, no sick days, no vacation time, and no benefits.  Personally things were rough as well. My brother did something very bad back in July and is now awaiting trial. I never thought I'd be communicating with someone in prison. I didn't read as much as I wanted, I don't think I even touched my guitar, and I probably watched too many hours of TV instead of going for walks. I didn't make it to a Cubs game or any sporting event for that matter. I also didn't talk to good friends who I should have kept in touch with more often.

It wasn't all bad. We made our annual trip to DCI in Minneapolis and despite having thought we would have to drive back to Chicago to get the tickets we forgot at home, we were able to pick them up at the stadium and the show wasn't rained out.  We didn't make it to the Wisconsin State Fair, but there's always this year. I re-connected with my Aunt (due to the situation with my brother), who is basically my only blood relative left.  I had some great meals at some good new restaurants. I made some new friends and saw a couple of good movies.

So as I look forward to 2012 I look forward to reading more, playing my guitar every day and writing more as well.  I will try to be a better friend. I will continue to do my job to the best of my ability even though I will continue to be in a "contract" position.  I will cook more, exercise and maybe take a trip or two. Eric has a new job and that holds promise. I'm going to save money rather than spend it. I'm going to not look back at the bad except learn from the experience of the past year and grow from there.

Happy 2012!