I am what people would define as a "pleaser." I want to make others in my life happy or at least not mad at me. Therefore, I say "sorry" a lot. I say "sorry" when I believe I have made a mistake at work, at home, or on the road. I say "sorry" for things I probably shouldn't be sorry for. I even apologize in my emails to friends if I don't get back to them within the same hour I read their email. I say "sorry" for things that are definitely not my fault. In fact, I would say that I say "sorry" and average of at least 5 times per day.
I need to stop this. I have had friends tell me "there's nothing to be sorry about." When my boyfriend met a friend of mine from Florida for the first time, they both agreed within 10 minutes of meeting that I say "sorry" way too often. I say it so much that friends of mine joke "well you SHOULD be sorry," and then they laugh. I would be the person that would be run over by a car and would apologize to the driver who ran me over.
The problem is that I am getting to be like the boy who cried "WOLF!" During a disagreement that my boyfriend, I apologized and he said, "You know what? You're not sorry. You say that word so much that I don't believe you anymore." And that's a concern for me. I want to be sincere. I demand honesty in my life and can't stand to think that I am not being honest when I apologize. Maybe I am apologizing so much that it has lost its meaning. Does this mean I'm not remorseful? I don't think so. Does it mean I'm too remorseful? I don't think that either. I'm not sure what it means. I am aware that I apologize too much and realize that I need to do something about it.
So here...in writing....I am making this solemn oath: I, Robin Ernst, promise not to apologize for things that are not my fault. I promise not to apologize just because I think it's what the other person wants to hear. I promise not to apologize for things that are out of my control. I promise to be honestly remorseful before the word "sorry" escapes my lips. And I promise not to say "sorry" more than 5 times a month (rather than 5 times a day).
Thank you, and I'll let you know how it's going at the end of this month.
